If Only…..

How many times have you said those two words to yourself or to someone else? Hundreds of times? Thousands? When you watch a film or read a book, do you think, for example, ‘If only he had gone to the bus park that day, he would never have lost her’. Have you ever said ‘if only’ before an event or during? No, of course not, it’s something we say with hindsight and hindsight is always 20/20 isn’t it?

Pretty much all of us have grown up with books, films and TV series which deliver ‘if only’ as an absolute; if only she hadn’t gone up to the attic she’d still be alive, if he hadn’t picked up that slipper he’d never have found the love of his life. We are served a never ending diet of black and white, two narrow paths, one which leads to a perfect life and the other which leads to ‘if only’. Is it any wonder that give ourselves such a hard time over the decisions that we make? We have seen the unfortunate consequences of making the ‘wrong’ decision too many times and often can’t see past black or white when, in real life, there are many shades of grey (at least 50 apparently).

The thing is, we never really give much thought to what the outcome could have been if the ending of the story wasn’t ‘perfect’……..

What if Jesus had sent Judas packing with a flea in his ear so he couldn’t betray him for 30 pieces of silver? Would Jesus have saved himself untold suffering? Yes. Would Christianity as we know if today exist? Probably not. Jesus could have ended up living a perfectly happy life with a wife and children, carried on with his teachings for a while and then drifted into obscurity. He followed the difficult path, the one that we would never follow if we knew the outcome: torture and a slow lingering death.

CinderellaOn a more frivolous note, what if Cinderella took off her rose coloured glasses 10 minutes after the wedding and realised that the castle was cold and draughty, her prince, though handsome, was mind numbingly dull and the glass slippers gave her blisters? Not quite the happy ending that we’ve all been brought up with is it?

The fact is that we can ponder decisions for days, weeks or even months. We can run every possible scenario through our minds, looking for the black or white answer that we see on the big and small screens and in our favourite books but we will never find it. We cannot fast-forward our lives to see the outcome, to see if we win or lose. We could decide to buy lottery tickets with the last of our money and win millions, lose all our friends, party too hard, marry someone stunning only to have them cheat on us and end up crashing our Ferrari out of our head on drugs. Alternatively, we use the money to buy food to keep ourselves going for another day, find out the store keeper needs an assistant, work for him and serve green beans to the woman who ends up being the love of our live. On the other hand, we see a starving child, turn to give them the money and get run over by a bus.

Never-regret-anything1.jpgThere are a million different scenarios and, if we try to plan for or even think about all of them we’ll go crazy so make the decision and forget it, follow the path and don’t look back. Life is not about fairy tale endings, goodies and baddies; when we say ‘if only’ we are looking backwards with regret, wouldn’t we be better served to enjoy the now? Black and white is not reality, enjoy the shades of grey……….




  20 comments for “If Only…..

  1. Roger Westlake
    August 28, 2018 at 9:19 am

    I can identify with this having gone through “If only I’d called in Sick instead of resigning”!

    But there’s also an “If only” to be pleased about as evidenced by this message that I read yesterday. “Reflection” is our cruise ship.

    “Just got back today from our holiday on the Reflection. We drove down to Civitavecchia and back – so glad we did. It was exhausting but highly recommended. After an excellent cruise, we still had Rome, Florence, Como, Lucerne and Troyes to look forward to.
    This cruise was short but superb. They really spoilt us. It also turned out to be a bit of therapy. We drove down through Genoa and over the road bridge – we crossed it less than two minutes before the collapse! My heart goes out to those who weren’t so fortunate but it did shake us up when we heard. We needed to sit and think for a few days afterwards. The Reflection gave us that space. Thanks Celebrity. You guys really know how to look after folk”

    Just one red traffic light on the journey and things would have been so different.


    Liked by 2 people

    • August 28, 2018 at 10:04 am

      Bloody Hell Dodge! Yes that would definitely make you sit back and think. So glad that you were ok but, as you say, a terrible tragedy for those poor souls caught up in it.xxx


  2. August 28, 2018 at 10:38 am

    Not many of us can come up with an ‘If Only’ as dramatic as Roger’s! As you say, we think we may have taken one of two alternatives – such as (in my case ) choosing between two countries, but of course we then set off on a road of endless possibilities and can’t say what would have happened if we had stayed/left.

    Liked by 1 person

    • August 28, 2018 at 12:26 pm

      No that was definitely dramatic! Exactly, as you say, we have to commit to the road we choose 😊 x

      Liked by 1 person

  3. August 28, 2018 at 11:06 am

    Ok, I needed this this morning. Thank you😙

    Liked by 1 person

    • August 28, 2018 at 12:26 pm

      You’re welcome 😊 may I ask why? Xx

      Liked by 1 person

      • August 28, 2018 at 12:53 pm

        You may ask why. I’ll even answer😉

        I’ve been all up in my head lately, remembering someone from long ago and far away. Someone it’s best to forget. Someone who is best left long ago and far away. By spending so much time wishing for what might have been, I’m totally crapping on what actually is, and what actually is is pretty freaking wonderful

        Liked by 1 person

      • August 28, 2018 at 1:52 pm

        Ah ok then, yes as you say, best left in the past and enjoy what you have now 😊 xx

        Liked by 1 person

  4. blindzanygirl
    August 28, 2018 at 11:42 am

    Interesting thoughts xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • August 28, 2018 at 12:27 pm

      Thanks Lotraine 😊 how are you doing today? Xx

      Liked by 1 person

      • blindzanygirl
        August 28, 2018 at 12:38 pm

        Thanks for asking dear friend. I woke in pain again today, so not been doing mych, but hoping to go for a druve out for a short time this afternoon. Hubby driving of course lol

        Liked by 1 person

      • August 28, 2018 at 12:51 pm

        So sorry to hear that, I hope you enjoy your drive 😘

        Liked by 1 person

      • blindzanygirl
        August 28, 2018 at 12:57 pm

        We will. Thankyou so much

        Liked by 1 person

  5. August 28, 2018 at 12:00 pm

    I find that I say “what if” a whole lot more than I say if only now. I’m not sure if it’s a good or bad thing since sometimes I do let the negatives of the “what if’s” scare me, but most times I am able to overcome that fear by remembering the few times I have said “if only”…. at the end of the day, I would rather have tried and failed than to not have tried, so I don’t do much with if only anymore, if that makes sense.

    Liked by 1 person

    • August 28, 2018 at 12:29 pm

      It does make perfect sense 😊 I try to remember that the ‘fears’ are just in my imagination and that I’m worrying about something that may not happen xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  6. August 28, 2018 at 3:20 pm

    This is really great. Thanks ..
    …hugs and kisses…

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Manessah B.
    August 28, 2018 at 10:32 pm

    This post is spot on! I love that you brought in the grey areas between the black and white. So many people leave that area out and I’m so glad you shed light on that. We just have to live life moving forward and whatever comes is whatever comes. Beautifully written and really inspiring! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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