Oooh That Hurt!

Have you ever read something and immediately thought ‘oh!’, then felt a tightness in your throat and an unbearable urge to cry even though you know that you’re being silly and over-sensitive?

I felt that this morning when I was browsing through Twitter (why oh why do I keep doing that!) and came across this Tweet:

“I love how this powder foundation evens out my skin tone without being too heavy,” said the woman who blasphemes nature daily by underhandedly modifying the tone of her complexion and luster of her hair with an array of ointments, gels, and lotions shrewdly designed to impart an artificial bloom of youth to her aging, depleted body

It’s taken from an article in the Onion which satirizes new stories; I think it’s meant to be funny but, as with most satire, it’s inherently cruel.

Ever since I read it I’ve been trying to work out why it bothered me so much and I’ve come to 2 conclusions:

  1. It made me feel slightly pathetic; is everything I’m doing to keep my body looking and feeling younger just laughable self-delusion and a refusal to accept the inevitable?
  2. My youth is behind me and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

Old women quotes

Then the real negativity started… I turning into a laughing stock? A raddled old hag who’s trying to pretend that she’s still young? Researching attitudes didn’t help much either; the quote above is from a Pulitzer prize winning dickhead (it didn’t actually say that in his bio – I added that bit) and it made me wonder how many other men think like that. Are men genetically programmed to only lust after young, fertile women for  the continuance of the species or is it just that we all appreciate beauty, men and women both?

toilet-paper-ad.jpgWe are a consumer society and virtually everything that is marketed to us is done so by young lovelies with perfect bodies and beautiful smiles – cosmetics, clothes, breakfast cereals and even toilet paper (yes apparently we even need beautiful women to sell us the stuff that we wipe our backsides with!). Beauty, it seems, is inextricably linked with youth so where does that leave the rest of us who are the wrong side of 50 and feeling sorry for ourselves this morning (that could just be me to be fair).

I think that really all we can say is f**k it! Aging is inevitable and there is nothing that we can do about the passing of the years. Our bodies will change and we can fight that or accept it. Personally, in the writing of this piece, I’ve decided that I’m even more determined to continue doing those things that make me feel younger and that includes looking after my aging, depleted body so that I’ll still be able to hop of the back of a motorbike and hurtle round the mountains even when I’m 90. I might look like an old woman trying to recapture her youth but, quite frankly my dears, I don’t give a damn.


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